Leonor Lemée: Complete mobile website analysis

  
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Copywriting Analysis & Optimization of leonorlemee.com

I analyzed Leonor Lemée’s mobile website on an iPhone X running iOS 13.3 and Safari here in Berlin, Germany.

Reading time: ~19 minutes

If you don’t want to read, here’s the screenshot of the original website as it was before and how it looks after my optimization:

Creation time - from 0 to published: 24+ hours (includes the in-depth version that you’re reading now - available for pro supporters only)

Also, make sure you click here to check the archive with past episodes.

About Leonor Lemée

Leonor is a French-British voiceover actress who grew up in Paris and Ecuador. She is bilingual since childhood and now living in London. Her specialty is character work, narration, and commercials.

Pretext

This is a copy analysis, not a design analysis. However, a website is a composition of different media elements that complement each other. It doesn’t make sense to ignore visual elements but it also means there’s room for interpretation. So, if an element is no text, I will tell you my interpretation of the element to clarify where my mind is.

Think of text as explicit copy, and every other element as implicit copy. It’s all copy because all elements help make the sale.

The analysis will happen through the lens of a prospective buyer (fictitious Rick) and a user experience (UX) analyst (Alex = me). I will be representing both Rick and Alex throughout the analysis. Both Rick and Alex will be expecting a site about voiceover or addressing the needs of people being interested in hiring a voiceover artist because that (voiceover) is what Copywriting Examples is about. So, they’re prepared for that.

Also, the analysis will be written in American English (AE) as opposed to Leonor’s website being written in British English (BE).

Context and conditions

I’ve met Leonor in December 2019 as a member of the Gravy For The Brain community. She had posted her website and I gave her feedback. Then we started chatting (some email back-and-forth). So, I gave her a brief website analysis before. Now, she’s getting a complete analysis as a follow-up.

However, during the analysis, I will ignore my knowledge about her and my sympathy for her. Instead, I’ll turn into a person who doesn’t know her company but I’ll be someone who has a desire to find an English voice with a French accent. I figured that this case is likely. But I will not ignore that I’m not a native English speaker, so there can be terms and phrases that I don’t understand immediately.

The business goal of Leonor Lemée: She wants me to become a client for one or more projects.

Will I hire her? We’ll see.

I’m opening leonorlemee.com and this is my analysis.

Analysis

In the analysis part, I’m naturally switching between Rick’s and Alex’s perspective. Rick being the interested potential buyer, and Alex being the analyst.

Part 1: First impression (and thoughts)

I’m seeing a headshot of Leonor and it takes up most of the space. It’s friendly and high-quality. The website is blue-ish with red as the highlight color. Interesting color scheme, and rather unique (I haven’t seen a VO website like that before). Above her photo, I’m seeing „LEONOR LEMÉE” and a hamburger menu icon. Below I can see two arrows pointing down telling me to scroll down or click them.

I’m pressing the arrows to get to the next section.

Now, I’m seeing the following copy:

A VERSATILE EUROPEAN VOICE

My raison d’être is to bring your idea to life.

I’m Leonor, a voice actress specialised in characters, narrations and commercials. In English and French.

Let’s talk about your project!

Button: VO SERVICES + Button: DEMOS

Part 2: Her story, demos, voiceover services, clients, and contact information

I’m scrolling further down and I’m reaching the „ABOUT“ section and this copy text with an inverted color scheme (blue text on a „pig-rosé” background):

Finding the right voice can be hard. Especially if you’re after something a little exotique.

• Are you looking for a native French, British-trained actress?

• A neutral English voice that you can’t quite place?

• A continental talent with a wide vocal range?

MY SPÉCIALITÉS

FRENCH

A native Parisian tone, the French version of ‘RP’

ENGLISH

An International accent between Europe and the US

ACCENTS

Standard American Neutral British (RP), French

Whatever your brief, I deliver with care and attention to detail.

Button: GET IN TOUCH

Every section so far has a clear call-to-action which (at first thought) feels good.

I’m continuing to scroll down and I’m seeing this:

  • The background changing back to blue and the text becoming red again.

  • An overview of her five voiceover services featuring a unique artwork per service. These illustrations are well-made and to my eyes, they stand out. I haven’t seen them this way before. Only by accident did I click on one of them („Announcements”) and realized that it’s actually a link. I will talk about possible improvements later on.

Further down the page, I’m seeing the „DEMOS“ section in the same color as before.

I can see eight demos (3x English, 1x bilingual, 4x French). The demo player looks modern, well-designed, even stylish. And I can play, download, adjust the volume, and see the length of each demo. Very convenient. This is my favorite section so far. It’s clear what to do and I enjoy using it. I’m also happy to see no (rather clunky) VoiceZam player here like I’ve seen on many other VO websites. It underlines the uniqueness of her website.

A side-note: Her voiceover demos are professionally performed and produced. She knows what she’s doing and she knows how to present herself well.

Moving on to the „BIO“ section, I can see this copy:

Many identities run through me. Which is lucky! Because sharing different stories, experiences and emotions is at the heart of what I do.

Bilingual since childhood, I had an American and International upbringing, in Paris and Ecuador. I also have dual French-British citizenship.

To voice the messages entrusted to me, I tap into:

• a dual training at CSSD in London and Studio 34 in Paris

• 15 years experience as a performer

Have a look at Spotlight for my stage and screen CV.

Below is actually a button to her Spotlight profile. I definitely did not realize I can click it until I accidentally did.

Further down I’m seeing the „CLIENTS” section with a mixture of one-paragraph testimonials, the person who said it, and a grid of 3x2 logos of companies she’s worked with. And five dots indicating where the automatic slideshow of the logos is at. There are left and right arrows to navigate through the testimonials as well. But the testimonials themselves don’t change automatically. So, you would always see the same quote unless you clicked the left or right arrow. It’s an OK solution.

The last section shows how to contact Leonor. I’m seeing the following copy:

I’m based in London, 2.5 hours away from Paris. Wherever you are, get in touch!

+44 796 3548 764

+33 6 86 72 75 58

Your Name

Your Email

Your Message

Button: SEND

Social media icons: Twitter, FB, YT, LinkedIn

Leonor Lemée © 2020

Optimization: Copy text and visual design

Speaking as the analyst Alex, the website is modern, uniquely designed, functional, and a pleasure for the eyes. There are only a couple of details that need improvement.

I enjoyed the brevity of the website (which is understandable after the „monstrous” analysis for Gravy For The Brain) and the copy was written concisely too.

To kick off the optimization, I rewrote the copy first. Copy tells the story and is the guideline for the visual design. That’s why copy comes first.

So, here is the original copy and the copy I wrote…

You can see here which parts of the copy I’ve changed. During the optimization process, I changed the copy here and there especially when I optimized the design to make copy and design work well together. The latest version of the copy can, therefore, be found in the final optimized design (below).

I’ll now show you 3 selected samples to explain my thought process.

Sample 1: The „hero“ section

At the very top, websites usually show a hero section which is also called the „above the fold“ section. It’s popular to show the most important information there because your goal is to get and sustain the reader’s attention from the first second on.

The original copy

LEONOR LEMÉE + Hamburger menu icon

Headshot of Leonor

Two arrows pointing down (for navigational purposes)

The original design

The original hero section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

There wasn’t much copy in the hero section before. The photo of Leonor was dominating the section followed by her name and the hamburger menu icon.

I figured this space could be used more wisely. Instead of focusing on her, I decided to make this section more about the visitor while still introducing Leonor’s tagline. The result is this first line of copy:

A versatile European voice actress bringing your idea to life

Then I added a clear call to action Let’s talk about your project!, and I complemented the section with one paragraph about her including I grew up in Paris and Ecuador. as a link to her about page:

I’m Leonor, a voice actress specialised in characters, narrations and commercials. Bilingual in English and French, I grew up in Paris and Ecuador.

I then repurposed and edited an existing paragraph which is serving as a transition to the demos section and as a link to her voiceover services section:

Finding the right voice can be hard, especially if you’re after something a little exotique. To see how I can help you, listen to my demos and read about my voiceover services.

While I provided links to subpages and other parts of the homepage, I always kept the copy on topic: making it about the visitor and how Leonor can help them.

How I optimized the design

I made the three lines of the hamburger menu ≡ thinner so they go hand in hand with the thickness of the letters LEONOR LEMÉE.

I also scaled down Leonor’s headshot and moved it to the right which gave space to her tagline A versatile European voice actress bringing your idea to life and her voiceover gaming demo. I made sure to position the play button at the same vertical position as her eyes so that they stay in one line and end up being connected.

The call-to-action (CTA) button is visually dominating to make obvious what to click. The play button to listen to the demo has secondary visual dominance but it’s big enough to be recognized.

Now the section feels more like a composition where the focus is on listening to the demo and clicking the CTA button. It now looks less like a page that maybe a photo model would use (i.e. a big headshot).

There’s overall more life in the section now which creates excitement to explore further. The potential for the visitor’s attention and him staying on the page is higher than it was before. Of course, the data will have to prove my point. But running these tests is out of the scope for this analysis.

My final revision of the copy

LEONOR LEMÉE + Hamburger menu icon

A versatile European voice actress bringing your idea to life

BUTTON: Play button + timeline with indicator

Voiceover gaming demo: English with various accents

IMAGE: Headshot of Leonor

Button: Let’s talk about your project!

I’m Leonor, a voice actress specialised in characters, narrations and commercials. Bilingual in English and French, I grew up in Paris and Ecuador.

Finding the right voice can be hard, especially if you’re after something a little exotique. To see how I can help you, listen to my demos and read about my voiceover services.

My final revision of the design

The revised hero section - click to enlarge and for more details

Sample 2: The „voice-over services“ section

A straightforward section with the purpose to lay out the voiceover services that Leonor is offering.

The original copy

VOICE-OVER SERVICES

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Characters

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Post-Sync

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Narration

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Commercial

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Announcements

The original design

The original voice-over services section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

I added much more copy to this section. And I combined parts of her about section (My spécialités are…), her clients section, and parts of her copy from the subpages of her services. All this became the combined and new „Voiceover services & Clients“ section as a follow-up of the „Voiceover demos“ section.

If Leonor talks about her services it also makes sense to mention the clients she has worked with and let them share what they thought about working with her. It’s all one big narrative, and therefore part of the same section.

The illustrations for her services are great, I really enjoyed looking at them. They add value. But I wasn’t sure what to do with them and what Leonor wanted me to do. So, I added some lines of copy for each service and one clear call-to-action, e.g. Listen to my character demos.

I also included the logos of companies she’s worked with. If she mentions Amnesty International, VISA, and eBay as her clients for narration projects, then show their logos so that the copy and (visual) design complement each other.

In the original „Clients“ section, there were two testimonials and company logos animated as a slideshow. The section was a pretty poor experience. So, I incorporated it into the „Voiceover services & Clients“ to give it more context and meaning. Now, its position is much stronger.

It is worth mentioning that testimonials are part of copywriting because they help to shift the reader’s current belief to a new belief.

How I optimized the design

While visually appealing, the original voiceover services sections did not make it clear for me that I can click the icons and the descriptive text below the icons. So, adding copy to each voiceover service makes each service more meaningful and inviting. Plus, the call-to-action for each service connects to the sub-pages much clearer.

Regarding the new clients section, you can read how I optimized it below.

My final revision of the copy

VOICEOVER SERVICES & CLIENTS

My spécialités are a native Parisian tone (the French version of ‘RP’), an international English accent between Europe and the US as well as Standard American Neutral British (RP) and French accents.

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Character voices

You’re casting a video game or radio drama, and months/years go by dreaming up this world and the characters in it. You deserve a dextrous actor to tune into your project.

Listen to my character demos

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Post-sync

A native French actress to improvise in an ADR loop session? I love ensemble work. Or to re-voice a part into English or French? Oui, bien sûr!

Read about my post-sync experience

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Narration

I ensure proper engagement with your audience by connecting heart to heart. For your charity campaign, corporate event or documentary as well as medical instructions, your newly developed app, and vivid explainer videos, my assuring voice takes your listener by the hand.

IMAGE: Logo of Amnesty International + VISA + eBay

Since 2011, I’ve delivered hundreds of narrations and enjoyed collaborating with professionals from all backgrounds.

Amnesty International, Skillsoft, eBay, Thomson Reuters, the UN, CERN, VISA… are among my list of happy clients.

Listen to my narrations


Working with me is like…

IMAGE: Photo of Rowan Laxton

Rowan Laxton,

Director at Alchemy Post

Leonor is a very reliable, versatile actress. She always comes prepared and her sessions go without a hitch. She is a lovely lady who is a pleasure having in the studio. We have worked together for many years and I wholeheartedly recommend her.

Whatever your brief, I deliver with care and attention to detail. Let’s talk about your project!

Leonor has worked in the Radio Facilities studios many times. She is a superb voice artist, and always accurate and professional. A genuine pleasure to work with.

IMAGE: Photo of Graham Caplin

Graham Caplin,

Radio Facilities Ltd.


IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Commercials

I am the French voice of Air France’s inflight entertainment trailers.

IMAGE: Logo of Air France + Facebook + Microsoft

Microsoft, Facebook, Boohoo, Photobox, Sunsilk… they all have trusted me with their campaigns. My promos have been seen on ABC TV on demand, Vice TV, Canal +, and TF1.

Listen to my English & French commercials

IMAGE: Illustrative artwork

Announcements

I am the ‘welcome’ voice of Microsoft’s phone system, the Manhattan Exchange conference, and the on-board voice of Saudi Arabian Airlines, Aeroflot, and others.

Listen to my announcement demos


A selection of clients I’ve had the pleasure to work with …

IMAGE: Logo of ABC TV + Apple + Barclays + Bing + BNP PARIBAS + boohoo + British Council + Disney Infinity + Gaijin Entertainment + Hill’s Science Plan + KIKO Milano + Jaguar + Land Rover + Mauritshuis + Nexus Studios + Nickelodeon + Skype + Square Enix + Studiocanal + Sunsilk + Twitter + Volvo + Wooga + Xerox

My final revision of the design

The revised voice-over services section - click to enlarge and for more details

Sample 3: The „clients“ section

A section for Leonor to show off and put her results and client list in the best light. But as said above, I later integrated this section into the combined „Voiceover services & Clients“ section.

The original copy

CLIENTS

IMAGE: Left arrow for navigational purposes

Leonor is a very reliable, versatile actress. She always comes prepared and her sessions go without a hitch. She is a lovely lady who is a pleasure having in the studio. We have worked together for many years and I wholeheartedly recommend her.

IMAGE: Right arrow for navigational purposes

Rowan Laxton, Director at Alchemy Post

IMAGE: Logos of ABC TV + Air France + Amnesty International + Apple + Barclays + Bing

IMAGE: Dot indicators and dot navigational elements

The original design

The original clients section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

I didn’t add much copy to the clients section, only:

Working with me is like…

and:

A selection of clients I’ve had the pleasure to work with…

I then rearranged the existing copy like:

Whatever your brief, I deliver with care and attention to detail. Let’s talk about your project!

How I optimized the design

Leonor has an impressive list of clients she’s worked with. She can show off and show them at a glance. A slideshow with the logos is fine but seeing all company logos at once has a much bigger impact, and reduces page load because of the no longer existing animation.

Also, the two testimonials are much easier to discover when they’re written just like that without having to click one of those big arrows. If you can keep it simple, do keep it simple. Only if an animation adds value, use it. Otherwise, don’t use it.

My final revision of the copy

The clients section has become part of the „Voiceover services & Clients“ section, as said above. So you can see the copy of this section above, but for your convenience, I added it here as well:

Working with me is like…

IMAGE: Photo of Rowan Laxton

Rowan Laxton,

Director at Alchemy Post

Leonor is a very reliable, versatile actress. She always comes prepared and her sessions go without a hitch. She is a lovely lady who is a pleasure having in the studio. We have worked together for many years and I wholeheartedly recommend her.

Whatever your brief, I deliver with care and attention to detail. Let’s talk about your project!

Leonor has worked in the Radio Facilities studios many times. She is a superb voice artist, and always accurate and professional. A genuine pleasure to work with.

IMAGE: Photo of Graham Caplin

Graham Caplin,

Radio Facilities Ltd.


A selection of clients I’ve had the pleasure to work with …

IMAGE: Logo of ABC TV + Apple + Barclays + Bing + BNP PARIBAS + boohoo + British Council + Disney Infinity + Gaijin Entertainment + Hill’s Science Plan + KIKO Milano + Jaguar + Land Rover + Mauritshuis + Nexus Studios + Nickelodeon + Skype + Square Enix + Studiocanal + Sunsilk + Twitter + Volvo + Wooga + Xerox

My final revision of the design

The revised clients section - click to enlarge and for more details

Conclusion

The mobile version of Leonor’s website is an OK experience. It is uniquely designed and features brief copy. It is somewhat engaging but lacking a clear direction for the visitor. Getting more engagement and creating more excitement when visiting the page is what I aimed for when re-designing the page.

Leonor’s newly designed and edited homepage now also tells a more fluent story. Instead of having generic sub-sections like ABOUTVOICE-OVER SERVICESDEMOSBIOCLIENTS, and CONTACT, I reduced the number of sections and gave the sections that were left a more human/organic touch. And I made the story about the visitor, not about Leonor.

„I want more!!!“ is the feeling I was aiming at concerning the visitor, and I hope to have accomplished that.

A few more remarks

It would be interesting to test how only one call-to-action, e.g. „Let’s talk about your project“, would work instead of having multiple ones. Copywriting colleagues told about that and it has worked well for them and their clients. So, I took the lead here and made „Let’s talk about your project!” the one main call-to-action in my redesign.

Also, I’m curious what would happen if Leonor strictly applied my 3+1 formula for a minimum viable website:

  • Headline

  • Bullet points

  • Video (video sales letter) plus voiceover demos

  • Call-to-action

While working on the design, I noticed that Avenir is a more elegant body-text font than Open Sans and more suitable for Leonor’s premium brand approach. And it works nicely with  Julius Sans One which Leonor is using for her headlines and sub-headers.

In the demos section, I divided the clips into three categories:

  • English

  • Bilingual - French/English

  • French

And I removed the French promo demo to have only 7 demos to showcase. I picked 7 demos because of the „Rule of Odds“ as explained in the Gravy For The Brain analysis.

Did Rick hire Leonor?

Yes. Only after having listened to her demos, Rick would have hired Leonor should he need a French-British voice. Without a doubt, her voiceover performances are topnotch.

Also, with her current website, I would not be surprised if she gets voiceover jobs through it. The website works. During my optimization, I mostly rearranged existing elements to lift the visitor’s experience on the website to a level that is on par with her pro level as a voiceover actress.

The website is showing Leonor but the website is actually about getting hired. So, as a voiceover artist, make your website about the potential client, not about yourself. It’s not „me / I / mine“ but „them / they / theirs“.

Which website would you like me to analyze and optimize for you next?

Send me an email to copywritingexamples@naii.io. Keep in mind that the website needs to be about voiceover professionals, voiceover service providers (hardware, software, education) or voiceover-related. And yes, if you’re a voiceover artist yourself, you can submit your own website :)


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