Gravy For The Brain: Complete mobile website analysis

  
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Copywriting Analysis & Optimization of gravyforthebrain.com

I analyzed Gravy For The Brain’s mobile website on an iPhone X running iOS 13.3 and Safari here in Berlin, Germany. I chose the mobile version because let’s face it… people are often surfing websites on their phone (it’s just always next to them).

Reading time: ~24 minutes

If you don’t want to read, here’s the screenshot of the original website as it was before and how it looks after my optimization.

Creation time - from 0 to published: 36+ hours (includes the in-depth version that you’re reading now - available for supporters only)

Also, make sure you click here to check the archive with past episodes.

About Gravy For The Brain

Gravy For The Brain (GFTB) is run by Hugh Edwards (CEO) and Peter Dickson (co-founder) as well as their team.

Pretext

This is a copy analysis, not a design analysis. However, a website is a composition of different media elements that complement each other. It doesn’t make sense to ignore visual elements but it also means there’s room for interpretation. So, if an element is no text, I will tell you my interpretation of the element to clarify where my mind is.

Think of text as explicit copy, and every other element as implicit copy. It’s all copy because all elements help make the sale.

The analysis will happen through the lens of a prospective buyer (fictitious Rick) and a user-experience (UX) analyst (Alex = me). I will be representing both Rick and Alex throughout the analysis. Both Rick and Alex will be expecting a site about voiceover or addressing the needs of the voiceover world because that is what Copywriting Examples is about. So, they’re prepared for that.

Also, the analysis will be written in American English (AE) as opposed to Gravy’s website being written in British English (BE).

Context and conditions

I’ve been a member of the Gravy For The Brain community for more than two years and I’m an affiliate partner. So, I’m referring people like you to Gravy using affiliate links. In return, Gravy is compensating me monetarily for my help which helps me make Copywriting Examples (and it’s father project „Studiolist“) sustainable. They didn’t ask me to do the analysis for them. I did it because I wanted to. It’s also a way to give back because I’ve been learning great voiceover things and they’ve been treating me well.

During the analysis, I will ignore my knowledge about them and my sympathy for them. Instead, I’ll turn into a person who doesn’t know the company (level 0) but who is aware of his desire to do voiceover (level 1). I figured that this case is likely. But I will not ignore that I’m not a native English speaker, so there can be terms and phrases that I don’t understand immediately.

The business goal of Gravy For The Brain: They want me to sign up for their voiceover education program through a monthly subscription.

Fair enough.

Will I sign up? We’ll see.

I’m opening gravyforthebrain.com and this my analysis.

Analysis

In the analysis part, I’m naturally switching between Rick’s and Alex’s perspective. Rick is the interested potential buyer. Alex is the analyst.

Part 1: First impression (and thoughts)

I’m seeing a lot of white background as well as black text and a bit of yellow/orange. Enhanced by the amount of white, the above-the-fold design communicates clarity to me. The yellow/orange color gives me a positive even optimistic feeling. The color emotion guide confirms that. [1]

Structurally, the page starts with the logo on top, a hamburger ≡ menu icon, the tagline, a 2nd-part tagline, a call-to-action button, as well as login link for already subscribed members, and a chat icon powered by Intercom.

Overview:

  • Logo

  • Menu link

  • Tagline (2 parts)

  • Call-to-action button

  • Login link (for members)

  • Chat icon

I don’t know what Gravy For The Brain is or what it stands for. But I can see the name clearly because they use a name-logo. In their logo, they also have a speech bubble with three dots which looks like it doesn’t belong there. It feels off and quirky at best.

The term „gravy“ is new to me. It can refer to a sauce or it can mean that things are great and that one is happy. Therefore, Gravy For The Brain stands for something positive (whether you can eat it or not). There’s no clear connection to voiceover but it’s at least a fun company name.

Side-note: Having known Hugh Edwards and Peter Dickson for 2+ years, I can tell that the company name expresses their sense of humor. They brought their DNA into the company’s DNA. That’s generally good advice because this allows you to keep your company human and relatable.

Before I suggest changes, I’ll move on with my observation.

Part 2: Below the above-the-fold

Scrolling down, I’m seeing the text:

Join Us Now!

It’s only £39/€49 a month!

The text comes out of nowhere and feels lost in terms of its location (with no connection or proximity to another element).

What follows is an uninspired headline…

Coming up in February…

…an embedded video, a photo of Peter Dickson that is out of place, and a welcoming text by Peter.

The communication has changed. Now, I’m being spoken to directly from another person rather than a company.

And the video is worth mentioning because it reveals what’s planned inside the GFTB community. It’s a subtle sales video but 

Part 3: What’s inside the product? (1/2)

The first highlight follows:

Since 2008 We’ve Helped 42203 Voiceovers

Discover Their Potential

(That’s real, live data!)

That’s great data and valuable for Rick.

After Peter has greeted me and I’ve seen how many people they’ve helped, now they feature the actual product by saying…

What Your Membership Gives You

This is what’s included in a GFTB membership:

  1. Courses

  2. Webinars

  3. Mentoring Forums

  4. Live Mentoring

  5. VO Tools

  6. Socials & Events

Each topic has an icon. That’s fine.

But it’s not fine that they show laziness with the copy that is written above the icons:

Click any of the icons to see everything you get for your single monthly subscription

This is not a solution, this is procrastination of work! Because why would I want to click each icon individually - and six in total? Present the information here and now, even a shortened version is fine. But a generic icon and a name below is insufficient.

I clicked the „Courses“ icon anyway to test it out. I found out that it’s an on-page link which is not optimal. I will present a solution in the „Optimization“ section below.

Then I saw that the „VO Tools“ link didn’t work. The link wants to go to href="#votools" but there is no HTML element with id="votools" on the page. You need to fix that.

After I scrolled down further I saw the copy for each of the 6 sections and I saw that each section features a button named Click To See What Else You Get. This button links back to the section above where the icons are listed.

That’s insanity. It doesn’t make. The navigation is confusing, and the confused customer never buys.

A horrible experience. And I have not even had a look at the copy of each section. Total turnoff. I will do that in the following „Optimization“ section.

However, I’m calming down and continue scrolling.

Part 4: Free appetizers to try out the product

I’m being greeted with…

We Want To Give You More Than A Voiceover Course,

We Want To Give You A Voiceover Career

…and the sub-headline:

16 Voiceover Courses Hosted By Industry Experts

Then six sample videos follow. These embedded videos that you can watch after having clicked on a far-from-elegant thumbnail preview.

The section ends with the copy…

ALL 16 COURSES + 100s OF WEBINARS

ALL FREE FOR MEMBERS

AVAILABLE ANYTIME

…and:

Sound Good?

Join Us Now!

It’s only £39/€49 a month!

Click Here To Join

I’m scrolling further.

Part 5: What’s inside the product? (2/2)

In this section, I’m being greeted with…

The Tools To Keep Building Your Career

…which is an elaboration of the voiceover tools mentioned before. The section ends with the call-to-action we’ve seen before…

Join Us Now!

It’s only £39/€49 a month!

Click Here To Join

…and testimonials:

Here’s What The Internet Says About Us

Part 6: Summary of what you get (and footer)

The last section begins with the words…

Your Gravy For The Brain Membership

Put plain and simple

…continues with bullet points and ends with…

You get everything for just £39/€49 a month.

You can cancel at any time, no hidden fees.

It’s all gravy, baby.

Start Your Voiceover Journey Today!

…and the footer that shows 2019. That should be updated to 2020, and it’s an easy fix. Since Gravy is using WordPress (PHP), this PHP code snippet will always show the current year:

<?php echo date("Y"); ?> 

It matters that an updated website shows an up-to-date date.

There’s a lot of ground to cover in the following optimization. Although I will focus on the copy because that in itself is more than enough work, I will mention some design issues as well. So, let’s get into it.

Optimization: Copy text and visual design

Speaking as the analyst Alex, there is a lack of love and care. I know that Hugh, Peter, and team care about their community but the website doesn’t reflect that entirely.

The website feels pretty long and boring. It’s messy and I don’t feel being taken on a journey. Time to tidy up.

But, copy tells the story and is, therefore, the guideline for the visual elements of the design. That’s why copy comes first.

So, here is the original copy and the copy I wrote…

The copy is all over the place. To make it better I answered these basic questions while I optimized:

  1. What is the product?

  2. How does it work?

  3. Why should you buy it?

I’ll now show you 3 selected samples to explain my thought process.

Sample 1: The „hero“ section

At the very top, websites usually show a hero section which is also called the „above the fold“ section. It’s popular to show the most important information there because your goal is to get and sustain the reader’s attention.

A rule of thumb. Although I rewrote all of Gravy’s website copy, you can start your website with these 3 simple elements:

  • Killer headline

  • Bullets with benefits

  • Video (video sales letter)

The headline and bullets communicate what the product is and touch on how it works and why to buy it. In the video, you explain in-depth how it works and why one should buy it. Then you close the deal with the call-to-action button below the video.

The original copy

Logo: Gravy FOR THE Brain

≡ + MENU

Become A Better Voiceover Artist

With The Complete Voiceover

Career Platform

Join Gravy For The Brain Now

Already A Member? Login Here


Join Us Now!

It’s only £39/€49 a month!


Coming up in February…

My name is Peter Dickson. You may know me as the voice of the X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent. I’ve also voiced famous TV commercials for brands such as Walkers, Dominos & Money Supermarket, as well as many video games and radio commercials.

It’s my pleasure to welcome you to our amazing community and mentoring platform. Let me explain further…

The original design

The original hero section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

Headline. I applied Eugene Schwartz’s „Second Stage of Sophistication“ approach. If you’re first in the market, then a generic claim like „Become A Better Voiceover Artist“ might work. It’s simple and direct. But since there are many competitors out there claiming to provide a voiceover education, you have to enlarge your headline (within the limits of legality and believability, of course). That’s why I came up with „Join 42,203 Talents to Become a Better Voiceover Artist“. The number says that you will not be alone in the community and it serves as an indirect social proof. I believe you can still get away with a 2nd-stage claim, so a 3rd-stage claim is not (yet) necessary.

Bullet points. After the headline, I immediately told Rick about 5 main points of why Gravy is the right choice. I didn’t choose four or six points because of the „Rule of Odds“. Had I chosen a group of 2, 4, 6, etc. elements, then your brain would have tried to split them into two groups. Instead of looking at the composition (the bullet points themselves), your eyes would be busy trying to figure which group they should focus on. This distracts the Rick from what you wanted him to do (read or skim the bullet points) because he would be busy with parsing the unnatural symmetry of the bullets. But the eyes „also gravitate to the center of a composition. An even number of items in a static layout has nothing in the center, which is another reason to think odd.“ [2]

Call-to-action button „Click Here To Join Us“ with additional proof. I added „x,xxx voiceover artists signed up in the last week alone!“ to incentivize more signups. This could be helpful for Gravy if the numbers are high. My observation is that within the last 10 days (Feb 7–17) 21 people signed up. That’s pretty good. So, the copy could be: „21 voiceover artists signed up in the last 10 days alone!“

I removed „Join Us Now! It’s only £39/€49 a month!“. It sounded desperate at this place where Rick hasn’t even seen what he gets for his money. In my version of the copy, I only mentioned the price at the end of the page. There, Rick will have had the chance to get a complete picture of Gravy’s offering.

Transition text leading to the video. The video explains how Gravy For The Brain works and what you get for a one-month subscription. The video deserved an introductory text. And then instead of going directly to the introduction of Peter Dickson, I decided to sum up in two paragraphs what makes Gravy For The Brain unique (USP). The welcoming text by Peter has a nice personal touch which is true to Gravy’s company DNA. So, I left it intact. But I prefixed Peter’s text with a question to arouse curiosity.

Generally speaking, what I recommended I applied to the hero section: Killer headline + bullets with benefits + sales video.

How I optimized the design

Consistent font choice. Proxima Nova everywhere (not only in the body copy). And I removed the Geomanist font because it doesn’t have the „Gravy” character that Proxima Nova has: it’s more rounded and playful.

Saving valuable white-space. The GFTB logo was out of proportion compared to the menu logo. So, I balanced them out and moved them into the same line while also adding a subtle yellow background color and a border-line. Now it can be a menu that sticks to the top and Rick always has access to the menu items.

Green checkmarks as bullet points. They give immediate feedback to the reader that something is positive (existent) and the green color adds what is perceived as healthy (growing) and peaceful. [1]

Switch from an orange to a yellow button. Using yellow as a background color creates a higher contrast to the black text. Legibility increases, the higher color saturation evokes a more positive feeling, and it stands out from the copy. The orange button from before felt like being part of marshland and tristesse.

Video thumbnail tidied up. I moved the play button into the center and removed all the text. But I added a pink frame to underline the Valentine’s Day mood that the thumbnail was suggesting.

Layout fixed: wrapping text around the image. Putting Peter’s photo in one line is a waste of space. Increasing the size of the photo and wrapping the copy around it, is a better idea and it looks more organized and more being taken care of.

My final revision of the copy

Logo: Gravy FOR THE Brain + ≡ + MENU

Join 42,203 Talents to Become a Better Voiceover Artist 

With our Complete Voiceover Career Platform, here’s what you get…

✓ Live-mentoring from industry experts

✓ Video training for beginners

✓ Expert feedback from VO professionals

✓ Hardware discounts and special events

✓ Professional voiceover artists refresh

Click Here To Join Us

x,xxx voiceover artists signed up in the last week alone! Already a member? Log in here

There’s lots to love here at Gravy For The Brain. But see for yourself how it works here at Gravy, and what you can expect from us in February 2020…

Coming up in February…

VIDEO EMBED: February 2020 at GFTB 

Gravy For The Brain is a complete voiceover career platform and a friendly community with on-going support from professionals active in the industry.

When an expensive course leaves you hanging, we give you a hand. When online training only doesn’t cut it anymore and you’re feeling lost being on your own, we invite you to our social events and UK’s biggest voiceover conference.

Did you notice the voice of the video you just watched? It’s Peter Dickson, and he wants to say hi…

My name is Peter Dickson, I’m the co-founder of Gravy For The Brain. You may know me as the voice of the X-Factor and Britain’s Got Talent. I’ve also voiced famous TV commercials for brands such as Walkers, Dominos & Money Supermarket, as well as many video games and radio commercials.

It’s my pleasure to welcome you to our amazing community and mentoring platform. Let me explain further…

My final revision of the design

The revised hero section - click to enlarge and for more details

Sample 2: The „What Your Membership Gives You“ section

In the membership section, you want to make palpable how it will feel being in the community.

The original copy

Since 2008 We’ve Helped 42203 Voiceovers

Discover Their Potential

(That’s real, live data!)

What Your Membership Gives You

Click any of the icons to see everything you get for your single monthly subscription

Icon + Courses

Icon + Webinars

Icon + Mentoring Forums

Icon + Live Mentoring

Icon + VO Tools

Icon + Socials & Events

The original design

The original membership section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

All the necessary elements were there (numbers for factual proof, video testimonials for social proof, the ingredients of a GFTB membership). I mainly rearranged them.

Showing the people of the community. I found it weird that Gravy talks about 42k voiceovers they helped but I never got an idea about what that number means. So, I create a collection of thumbnail images with people that are part of the community. (I used them 4 times and created a wall of faces which is a design and copy element.)

I added a „Click Here To Join Us“ button because now that Rick has seen which faces he can expect, it makes it easier for him to join.

Reducing massive icons to a small bullet list. I left the icons (courses, webinars, mentoring forums, etc.) intact and they’re still on-page links but I reduced them in their size and made them black instead of „funkily” colorful. There was no need to have super big icons if they were just navigational elements. And these icons are not even so nice that they deserve a size like that. If something is detailed, sure, make it bigger so Rick can see the details. But if something is rather generic, don’t blow it up. Bigger is not better in this case. Always keep the function in mind because „form follows function“ (as the Bauhaus saying goes).

When talking about a community, add testimonials from real people. The video testimonial from Hannah is pure gold, and so is the video from Ian. But a) Hannah’s video was originally located at a place where it felt lost and b) Ian’s testimonial was not even visible on the mobile version of the website. I added both videos including their main takeaway (quote) to the „What Your Membership Gives You“ section because that’s where you want to let members talk.

How I optimized the design

The orange bow is a smile. The transition from the hero section to the membership section happens with a light-orange background color shaped like a smile. It (the bow) embraces the visitor’s eyes with elegance and gentleness and therefore strengthens the copy („…we’ve helped…“) and the community feeling that Gravy wants to communicate (see next point). The alternative to a bow would be a straight line, which is an element that I used in other section transitions.

The „wall of faces” communicates community and it shows people that Rick could like. You want to be with people that you like.

Clear video thumbnail images with a play button. No timeline, no title, no like button, no GFTB logo. Only the face of Hannah and Ian, and a button to play the video. Clear and simple.

My final revision of the copy

Since 2008, we’ve helped 42,203 voiceovers

(that’s real, live data!)

Image with many thumbnails

Click Here To Join Us

How we’ve helped them:

Icon + Online courses

Icon + Webinars

Icon + Mentoring forums

Icon + Live mentoring

Icon + VO Tools

Icon + Socials & Events

TESTIMONIALS

VIDEO EMBED: Testimonial 1 + main takeaway as text

VIDEO EMBED: Testimonial 2 + main takeaway as text 

My final revision of the design

The revised membership section - click to enlarge and for more details

Sample 3: The „Courses“ section

Gravy’s backbone is its courses. They provide the foundation that a new voiceover artist needs to learn. Accordingly, you want to sell them well and allow sneak-peeks for visitors like Rick.

The original copy

Courses

From beginner to advanced, we have 16 carefully crafted voiceover courses so you can specialise in the voiceover style you love. Each course is made up of multi-part modules that are hosted by industry experts walking you through the art of voiceover one step at a time.

All of our training is certificated and suited for all skill levels, whether you’re a beginner, intermediate or advanced voiceover.

There’s always something to learn, always a way to get better.

Beginner, gaming, audiobooks, home studio, singing, intermediate - we have a course for it, hosted by an expert, to make you an expert.

✓ 16 certificated voiceover courses and quizzes

✓ Learn at your own pace and in your free time

✓ Hosted by experts active in the industry

COURSE HOURS

100+

STUDENTS

41,000 Served

BADGE UPON COMPLETION?

Absolutely!

Click To See What Else You Get

(or just keep scrolling!)

The original design

The original courses section - click to enlarge and for more details

How I optimized the copy

Removing redundancy. I erased redundant copy, and I wrote a more concise and more active/activating text.

Removing „Click To See What Else You Get“ because it was an on-page link that brought me to that list of big colorful icons. It’s the list I have removed completely because the sheer size of the icons and their icons at this place didn’t add to Rick’s experience. I used one of these icons next to the sub-headline of each section but I removed their color and made them black instead of red, orange, yellow, green, turquoise, blue.

Adding the call-to-action button „Click Here To Join Us“ which is the same throughout the page. I used the same copy text to create consistency and stability. The alternative would have been to also use button arsenal with texts like „Join us now“, „Get started“, „Become a voiceover today“, „Start your voiceover career“ or „Sign up now“. This feels scattered to Rick, uneasy, and in the worst case confused. (The confused customer never buys.)

How I optimized the design

Graduation hat. I used the „Courses“ icon (graduation hat) next to the sub-headline „COURSES“. It’s a small element but it makes the sub-headline stand out and gives Rick’s eyes a reason to stop.

Sample videos from the courses. I embedded sample videos so that Rick can preview what he can expect. The videos were originally placed much further below but it made more sense to show them where the copy talked about them. As with every video thumbnail, I selected a representative still image, a centered play button, and no distracting text.

Five bullet points and new checkmark icons as seen in the hero section. I increased the number of bullets from 3 to 5 to increase the perceived value of what the courses offer.

My final revision of the copy

„Graduation hat” icon + COURSES

Pick a voiceover field and then specialize

From beginner to advanced, from gaming to audiobooks, from building your home studio and creating amazing demo reels to mastering auditions - we have a video course for it.

Hosted by an expert who is walking you through the art of voiceover, to make you an expert through 16 carefully crafted voiceover courses and 100+ hours of video.

VIDEO EMBED: Voiceover For Beginners - GFTB Taster - with Peter Dickson and Hugh Edwards 

At the end of each module, a quiz makes sure that you take away the most important pieces. And each course gives you a badge upon completion.

Our beginner’s course gives you an overview of voiceover, explains the elements that go into the craft, and teaches core voiceover techniques like the art of communication, warming up, breathing, dissecting a script, and vocal health.

VIDEO EMBED: Start Your Voiceover Business - GFTB Taster - with Hugh Edwards and Gary Fox

VIDEO EMBED: How To Get Cast For Voiceover Jobs - GFTB Taster - with Hugh Edwards 

You’ll also learn how to approach the most important voiceover genres (trailer, commercial, characters/dramatic, gaming, corporate/narration), why your demo reel is the most important asset of your voiceover business, how do audition, and (you’ve probably been waiting for it) the earnings you can expect in voiceover.

And this is just the beginning. There’s always something to learn, always a way to get better.

VIDEO EMBED: How To Voice For Commercials - GFTB Taster - with Peter Dickson

VIDEO EMBED: Learn How To Voice Audiobooks - GFTB Taster - with Peter Kenny

VIDEO EMBED: Becoming A Gaming Voice Actor - GFTB Taster - with Peter Dickson and Hugh Edwards 

✓ Learn at your own pace and at your own time

✓ All skill levels (beginner, intermediate, advanced)

✓ 16 video courses and quizzes with 100+ hours

✓ All of our training is certificated

✓ Hosted by experts active in the industry

Click Here To Join Us

Did you know we even have courses on singing, public speaking, and how to play drums?

My final revision of the design

The revised courses section - click to enlarge and for more details

Conclusion

The new design is more efficient. I used only 60 percent of the space to tell Gravy’s sales story (57.170 vertical pixels vs. 34.665 pixels). It means, I saved the visitor 40 percent scrolling time and it can mean that they are less likely to leave the page and more likely to make a quicker purchase.

But the purchase could have become a problem because when I hit the buy button Rick saw this message:

Sorry, this product cannot be purchased.

So, either it’s an error that Gravy hasn’t fixed yet or they don’t allow new people to sign up. If the latter was true, then they should so fair to tell people that joining is currently not possible. They could then ask Rick to add himself to the waiting list.

Later I realized that this problem only occurs when I’m logged in to my GFTB account. The problem does not occur when I’m logged out. But still, the error page could be improved by saying a thing like „You’re a member already and logged in. Here’s your dashboard.“ That would be more gravy than the generic error message I mentioned above.

And yes, error messages are part of copywriting.

A few more remarks

As a mobile visitor, I didn’t appreciate that Gravy didn’t make me aware of their coupon code (£29 instead of £39 and €35 instead of €49). On my desktop computer, I saw the coupon.

The website uses the generic „G“ favicon that comes with the Genesis WordPress theme. That should be a no-go for a unique product that GFTB is. I’d like to see an original favicon.

The „Affiliates“ is broken. While only relevant for affiliate partners like myself, it shows the lack of attention because regularly checking links is one of the basic duties of website owners.

Did Rick sign up?

It depends. The content itself is great. Good testimonials, interesting tasters of their courses, and a lot of stuff packed into the membership.

Leaving aside the discount (that mobile visitors don’t see anyway), it would be 49 euros a month which is almost 600 EUR per year.

Considering that Gravy provides on-going support from industry professionals, regular webinars, and updated knowledge, 600 EUR is worth it.

However, since Rick is still new to the whole VO world, he would not sign up (not now). But, if Gravy provided a 30-day free trial, he would change his mind. A community like Gravy For The Brain needs to be experienced to understand its value.

So, will you (Gravy For The Brain) offer a 30-day trial period for Rick?

Which website would you like me to analyze and optimize for you next?

Leave a comment below or send me an email to copywritingexamples@naii.io. Keep in mind that the website needs to be about voiceover professionals, voiceover service providers (hardware, software, education) or voiceover-related. And yes, if you’re a voiceover artist yourself, you can submit your own website :)


Resources

Color theory:

Rule of Odds:

Footnotes

  1. The Logo Company: Color emotion guide

  2. ZURB: Rule Of Odds


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